i'm just a human you know

Bismillahirrahminrrahim..

There's a day, no, a week or weeks, that I felt so distant from Him, Allah The Almighty.
I try hard to keep on this track that I've been following since I've realized the truth of being a human; a servant to God.

But, day by days, i kept on crumble on myself and I just felt "What the heck with you dude. You keep telling others this and those, do and don't, but you don't do it?"

I'm just a human you know.

I was afraid back then. This is why:

"O you who believe! Do you say that which you do not do. It is most HATEFUL in the sight of Allah that you say that which you do not do." (As-Saff: 3)

Hateful. Hateful in the sight of Allah. The Almighty.

The use of the word "hateful" scared the heck out of me. Not only that, the phrase is actually "most hateful."

Suddenly, I felt that my tummy had lots of butterflies inside of it. Astaghfirullah.

But still, I was still not on the right path yet. I'd been lost from the track. Nor did I want to stay out of it. I wanted to be the old me!!! But, I had no strength.. I was calling for help..

Suddenly, while reading other people's blog, i came across this hadith:

"Katakanlah wahai Muhammad, jika umatmu berjalan menuju ke arahKU, akan Aku berlari kepadanya. Ketahuilah umatku bahwa Aku sangat merindui orang yang telah berpaling daripadaKu..." (hadth)

Oh God, what a wonderful verse. It's trigger me. Yes, just like that. Alhamdulillah.

And you know what, his never broke His promise. Not even once. Even after I lost my track, He help me to find the way back, and He still bless me.

Alhamdulillah.

Alhamdulillah.

Alhamdulillah.

Hope we'll die with Husnul Khotimah deeds. Ameen.

sleepy i am

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

So sleepy.. Still recovering for burning the midnight oil for the final week of Spring semester.. This is what you got when you not getting enough sleep.

Spring 2009 had been a difficult semester for me; thanks god that no English course this semester. Not that the English courses *******, just I am no good in language... huhu

Summer semester is up after this. Bring it on!!!

speehless I am

sighs... How on earth can I explained my actions towards someone that really -----------
(don't misunderstood, this is not those bad adjective & etc..)
not knowing what words to use.. just feel if I did explain, he probably will not understand.. because this is the way I am, in which contradict with him..

p/s: really has to work hard on vocabularies.. hhuhu

i'm losing my way

Somebody HELPPPPPPPPP me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

time waits for no men

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim.

Confirm that I'll be taking Calculus II in Summer 2009. Huhu.. Say no to relaxation and leisure. What will be waiting is practices, practices & only practices. The thing that I never really did with enthusiasm since Form 4.

It's not that my teachers or lecturers are not good in teaching, it just me who should be blame; apathetic in doing mathematics practices.

So, after this, I got enough time to concentrate on Calculus II only. If I can endure this period, I believe I can succeed in the US university later.

Wanna quote words from Mary O'Connor:

"It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted."

But still, Allah has reminded us (me) more than 1400 years before in His verse:

"I swear by the time. Most surely man is in loss. Except those who believe and do good, and enjoin on each other truth, and enjoin on each other patience."
(Al-'Asr, 103: 1-3)

Hahaha.. Head shot! I'll try to change, I will really do. Ameen.

this is the way i am

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim.

Sometimes life is not what we expect it to be. It can just change, just like that. Whenever I think how strong I am, I always fall behind; seeing my companions and comrades marching (as-saf) towards the prominent glory.

But still alhamdulillah, my companions and comrades will not let me be abandoned. They will try to retrieve me again by any means because that is what it should be, the 'ukhuwah' that unite all of us.

Thanks to all my beloved companions:
Brother Saifuddin Rehan
Brother Zulkarnain
Brother Abdul Haq Md Nor
Brother Faiz Kamaluddin
Brother Firdaus Esa
Brother Naufal Jailani
Brother Ammar Shahrin
Brother Amershukri Abd Rani
Brother Saifullah
Brother Azlan Musyabri
Brother Syafiq Mashud
Brother Izzat Lesley
Brother Iqram

Brother Wan Anas
Brother Faisal

and all of the 'Ansarallah' that after all this time, still humbly and patiently working towards "Ustaziatul Alam.'
I cannot list all of them in here because they are to many outside there.

I dedicated my first post to my beloved companions as you are one in the billion for me.
After all this time, I'm glad that I've met you all first before I met Allah, the Creator at Hereafter after this. Pray for my success in this test. Ameen.